Jackson: I put so much pressure on myself. Everyone, I felt, was looking at us under a magnifying glass, and I had to be the perfect wife, who was the perfect size, who wore the perfect gown, who had the perfect jewels, and it was so stressful to live like that and to base your self-worth on what you thought other people felt about you. So that's why it was so freeing to really come to the place in my life where I realized that I shouldn't base my self-worth on any of that, that my self-worth really comes from being a child of God.

AP: When your marriage broke up, you describe it as a total shock.

Jackson: All along in our marriage we'd have these discussions about something just doesn't feel right, and it really boiled down to a codependency. Alan was the stronger one, I was the weaker, needier partner, and it just didn't feel balanced. And he kept wanting a partner who would be equal and who he could respect, but we really just didn't know how to get there. So that was really the issue that played out over the years. But it really wasn't until '98 that he said, "You know what? I can't live like this anymore, and I don't know if we know how to fix it," and that's when he left.

AP: He revealed that he was unfaithful at one point. How did you regain the trust?

Jackson: First of all, I had to be able to forgive him, and that's a free gift that you offer someone. So I was willing to do that, but in return he had to show me in tangible ways that he was trustworthy. And over an extended period of time he showed me in numerous ways.

AP: Do you always have that doubt though?

Jackson: It's been almost 10 years, and initially when we got back together I did worry and wonder — was he really and truly committed to our marriage? But now I have such a peace and contentment about it, because he has shown me over and over and over that he does want to be in the marriage, and it's evident; it's evident every day.

AP: After he left, did you ever feel like, "OK then, I'm just gonna take everything you have" and get revenge?

Jackson: I have to admit that I did have those feelings, especially when we had been separated for several months and he really wasn't acting as if he was interested at all in reconciling. But then again, as I just stayed in my Bible study and really developed this relationship, I think God just softened my heart and made me want to have him back.

AP: Was Alan worried about you writing this book?

Jackson: I think he was a little nervous at first. None of us want to tell people about our mistakes. But I also feel like he knew how passionate I was about this message, and he knew that in order to really tell it fully that I was going to have to reveal some details about our marriage and our relationship, and he really consented for me to do that and graciously wrote the forward for the book and included the two wonderful songs that you can get with the book. He's been wonderfully supportive of the whole thing.