I could review "Back to You" as the show I wish it was — a sitcom with stars from "Frasier" and "Everybody Loves Raymond" and producers whose credits include "Frasier" and "Just Shoot Me" that's one of the most anticipated new shows of the season.

Or I could review "Back to You" (Wednesday, 7 p.m., Ch. 13) the way it is — a huge disappointment.

I really, really wish I could do the former, but I can't.

I really, really wanted to like "Back to You." But, instead, I was sort of aghast at just how bad the show is.

One of the biggest problem is that "Back to You" is a new show that feels like an old show. And not a good old show — a tired old show.

Kelsey Grammer stars as Chuck Darling, a Frasier-ish, egomaniacal anchorman. After leaving Pittsburgh behind a decade ago, he jumped to bigger market after bigger market until an on-air gaffe sent him plummeting back to Pittsburgh.

He's reteamed with his old co-anchor, Kelly Carr (Patricia Heaton of "Raymond"), who has been in Pittsburgh all these years — and she harbors no small amount of resentment toward Chuck. Which might work if Grammer and Heaton had any chemistry, but they don't.

"Back to You" has all the rhythms of a standard sitcom — set-up, punch line; set-up, punch line. Not that there's anything wrong with that if the punch lines are funny. But the vast majority of them aren't even mildly amusing.

Chuck delivers lines like, "She'd wade through a pool of piranha to get in front of a camera," as if he's Noel Coward. And the hyped-up studio audience guffaws despite the fact that it's not funny.

The supporting cast is full of characters who feel more like caricatures. Marsh McGinley (Fred Willard) is the tank-brained, sexist sports anchor; Gary Crezyzewski (Ty Burrell) is the overworked reporter who thinks he should be the anchor; Ryan Church (Josh Gad) is the too-young, underqualified news director; Montana Diaz Herrera (Ayda Field) is the unqualified sexpot/weather forecaster; and Gracie (Laura Marano) is Kelly's 10-year-old daughter.

They, too, all look like they stepped out of other sitcoms. And the banter seems lifted from old shows, too.

"Back to You" also seriously underestimates the intelligence of viewers. There's a "big surprise" in the final moments of Wednesday's pilot episode that is absolutely no surprise at all. I won't give it away, but it's so clearly telegraphed from the opening moments of the episode that it's an insult to viewers to pretend anyone could possibly be surprised.

I really, really would have liked to tell you how much I loved this show. But I'm not that good a liar.