'Paula' just painful

Published: Thursday, June 28, 2007 12:16 a.m. MDT
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Hey Paula!" proves something most of us already knew. Paula Abdul is not particularly smart.

She makes like Kathy Griffin — well, more like Bobby Brown — in this new "reality" show (11 and 11:30 p.m., Bravo), which is all about Paula. It's a transparent attempt at image rehabilitation that's supposed to demonstrate to all of us little people out here that she's "just an everyday girl."

Sure, if everyday girls are spoiled, self-centered, obnoxious and incapable of accepting responsibility for any of their actions.

I'm no media guru, but if you were going to put yourself on a reality TV show in an attempt to rehabilitate your tattered public image, wouldn't you be on your best behavior?

Wait a minute — maybe what we see in "Hey Paula!" is Abdul's best behavior. And that's a frightening thought.

You've got to have an enormous ego to believe that your life is interesting enough to merit a "reality" show. Unless, like Griffin, you're making fun of yourself. And Abdul does not.

That doesn't mean viewers won't. If there's entertainment value in this show, it comes from our ability to sit back and mock her.

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Mostly what we see is Abdul surrounded by her suck-up assistants, who enable her bad behavior and take the blame for the consequences. It's not Paula's fault that she can't find her ID at the airport. It's not Paula's fault when her yappy little dogs run wild. It's not Paula's fault that the jewelry she's supposed to hawk on QVC isn't up to her standards. It's not Paula's fault that it takes her four hours to get ready to attend the Grammy Awards.

Actually, it's completely Paula's fault. She's just incapable of admitting that and instead treats her suck-up assistants like dirt.

Again, none of this should come as a surprise. Remember, Abdul has had an excuse for everything — her weird behavior on "American Idol"; her weirder behavior in interviews; her affair with an "Idol" finalist; her broken nose.

Whether you believe her when she insists she's never been drunk is up to you.

If you're an Abdul fan, "Hey Paula!" may cure you.

If you're not, there's some perverse pleasure in seeing yourself proved right.

But not enough to merit wasting your time on "Hey Paula!"

QUOTABLE: "Late Night" host Conan O'Brien, for one, apparently doesn't really believe Abdul's claim that she's never been inebriated:

"Today, Paula Abdul celebrated her 45th birthday. Unfortunately, when Paula blew out the birthday candles, her breath caught fire and scorched a two-block radius."

STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP rides off into the sunset tonight (9 p.m., Ch. 5), which is a shame.

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