Do best fathers choose religion over recreation?

Religious involvement is highly beneficial for dads, study says

Choosing religion over recreation could be a way for men to become better fathers — especially in faith-based communities.

According to a research study by David Dollahite, professor of family life at Brigham Young University, and Loren Marks, assistant professor at Louisiana State University, being involved in a religious community can give men a sense of belonging and support when it comes to raising children.

Religious involvement can also give men a sense of meaning and accountability in their fathering role, with the knowledge that if they fail they will have God to reckon with.

"I would never say, 'You can't be a good dad without religion,' but what the research shows, in hundreds of studies by nonreligious people, was that there is added value in religious involvement that makes a difference in many ways," Dollahite said. "It's hard to quantify that and replace it. People who aren't religious can try to ... replicate (elements of a religious family lifestyle) and that can certainly, probably, help, but there's something else going on."

Dollahite said some fathers place a religiouslike emphasis on sports and other recreational involvement with their children as a replacement for religious rituals, but the effect is not the same.

"The research is absolutely clear that there is something about spiritual and religious involvement with fathers that really binds fathers and children together in a way that is hard to replicate in nonreligious ways," Dollahite said.

Active involvement in a religious community also decreases the likelihood of a father abusing drugs and alcohol, which is a major contributor to the abuse of women and children.

Dollahite and Marks have interviewed some 140 families over the past seven years in their quest to understand how religion can improve family life. They culled answers from Jews, Christians and Muslims — all Abrahamic faiths — and have presented a portion of their findings in a chapter of "Why Fathers Count."

The newly published book is a collection of studies on the importance of a father's involvement with his children. Along with Dollahite and Marks' study are other essays written by local and national scholars and tips for improving parenting skills.

Dollahite and Marks said they hope families will learn something from their presentation on the insights of a diverse group of religious people, but they're not trying to convert anyone.

"We're not so much trying to convince people of seeing the world in a certain way, we are trying to tell the story of what it is like to be a highly religious family in America today," Marks said. "There are significant costs and significant challenges (that come from that decision), and as scholars, we try to present those along with the benefits."

Dollahite said spending time engaged in religious activities can strengthen families but that involvement must be balanced with a healthy home life and time spent with the family.

Fathers who distort their religious beliefs to justify severe punishment or abuse of their family are perverting their religion, Dollahite said.

"It's a sad thing that people will use the word of God or religious beliefs to justify their selfish or prideful behavior," Dollahite said. "But you can't fault religion for that. That's the person's misinterpretation."

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E-mail: achoate@desnews.com

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