Andy and Jeanne were living in Japan when Ashton was born, but moved back to Utah when their son was tiny. Ashton has always been curious about Japan. Also, he knew that his dad, who teaches English as a second language, could easily find work abroad.

So Ashton urged the move even though he knew he'd end up graduating later than his peers, because it will take him at least a year to learn Japanese. He told his folks, "If we don't go now, we will never go, and if we never go, we will always regret it."

Jeanne says it was an emotional decision for her. "I had to write down a list of pros and cons. Pros: Ashton will be bilingual. We get health insurance there, which we don't have here. Also, when we've lived in Japan before we've saved money. And lost weight, eating like the Japanese." The cons include missing family left behind in Utah.

Jeanne is excited to try teaching, too, maybe a cooking class, maybe a scrapbooking class. Still, she says the move feels risky. Andy disagrees. He says it feels like a move up.

He likes teaching here, but he already has a job lined up in Japan, and that job includes housing. Although, he notes, "When we come back, we are resetting the clock in terms of seniority and retirement."

Maybe this move will mess up whatever long-term goals the family had going in Utah, Andy says. But the bottom line is, when he looked ahead at 20 years of sameness — he couldn't resist Japan.

In her book, "Getting Out From Under," Stephanie Winston helps people redefine their priorities using a list of "life themes." They include:

Adventure, ambition, art or music or literature, beauty (personal, home, possessions, environment), collegiality, faith/spirituality, family, figuring things out (problem solving), financial security, health/fitness, home, independence, intellectual pursuits, invention, leadership, love/intimacy, nature, parenting, physical movement (dance, sports), power, privacy/solitude, risk-taking, security, service, status (in the community), variety and diversity (of people, environment, activities) and wealth.

Study these themes, says Winston. Organize them by importance. Arrange them like the solar system. At the core, list your two loves. Maybe family and variety. Or faith and nature. In the first and second orbits, list other good things. If a topic leaves you cold, place it out in the Jupiter orbit. Perhaps ambition leaves you cold. Perhaps you can live without nature.

Drawing the orbits helps you see how your values match your actual life, she says. The orbits also show where conflicts lie. (If family is your core, why work 80 hours a week at a job in the outer orbit of importance?)