Utahns in 'midlife' find fulfillment as they change course, take road less traveled
As for Barusch, she's 51 now and about to move to New Zealand. Some people have told her she's crazy, have labeled her plan a midlife crisis.
On the one hand, Barusch knows of no statistics to prove that people in their 50s are choosing change in ever-increasing numbers. But on the other hand, sociologists agree that humans yearn to grow and change over the course of their entire lives, says Barusch. "We seek an expansion of the self, to be all we can be."
And when people hit their 50s, says Barusch, "We are free to consider change." Our children are grown, she notes. "Mortality is bearing down. Our parents are dying, and their deaths make it real: that death is permanent."
To Barusch, New Zealand seems a conservative and well-planned move. She'll teach a subject she knows. She's taken a leave of absence, so her job at the U. will be held for her. Her children are in college; she's not abandoning them. In January her husband will take a leave from his job, too, and will join her.
Still, to hear her talk about moving so far away, about having to ship her belongings four months before she'll need them, makes the move sound somewhat daring. Also, she describes it so joyfully. As in, "I've always wanted an adventure of this kind."
Graham has found, over the years, that his students have one thing in common: They feel vaguely unfulfilled.
He says they long to drop deeply into the core of their lives. His students want to talk about how to spend their time on this planet.
One man came to the class having worked for 20 years at a job he hated. Eventually he found work that paid less but that he enjoyed more. In his free time, he took up the guitar.
Jeanne Shaw turned 50 this year and wanted a change. Her 15-year-old son, Ashton, decided what form the change should take, when he suggested that the family move to Japan.
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