Those who are LDS might recall that a couple of years ago Elder Boyd K. Packer advised church members to "untie the knot," Day reminded his listeners. Day sees that statement as permission for church activities to be less elaborate, for church members to spend more time helping the needy, more time with their families, more time in prayer and reading scriptures.

Day used the Saturday schedule of a young father to illustrate the plight of overcommitted families. (And in doing so proved that dads can feel the same sense of life out of control that Graber's moms do.) The list included soccer games, a Scout outing and a child who needed help on a science project. Near the bottom of the list of things to be done in that one short day were the words, "New baby needs attention."

Day's voice sounded sad when he spoke of the new baby. He seemed to sense that the days were slipping by and this baby's infancy would be over soon whether or not his parents felt they'd had enough time to enjoy it — and the baby's Saturdays would soon be filled with a mad rush between Scouts and science projects and soccer.

Too much to do . . .

Using sources as diverse as the National Nurses Health Study and Kentucky Fried Chicken's dinnertime survey, a social scientist from the University of Minnesota, William Doherty, offers a snapshot of what he calls, "Overscheduled Kids, Underconnected Families."

He cites a decline in family time and an increase in structured play.

• Household conversations dropped by 100 percent from 1981 to 1997, down to 45 minutes a week. That's how much time a child spent conversing with someone else in the family — when conversation was counted as the main activity.

• Family meal time declined 10 percent over the last 20 years, down to eight hours per week.

• Family dinners are also on the wane. Only one-third of U.S. families say they "usually have their evening meal together on a daily basis."

• Meanwhile, several studies pointed up the correlation between family meal time and successful students. A University of Michigan study found that more meal times at home was the single most important predictor of high achievement scores and fewer behavioral problems. A study of teens showed that five or more dinners per week with a parent was a good predictor of academic success and low risk for alcohol or drug use. (The results held true for one-parent and two-parent homes.) A medical study showed that 9- to 14-year-olds who dine with their families regularly consume more fruits and vegetables and fewer trans fats.