From Deseret News archives:

LDS and single

Leaders counsel members to seek marriage

Published: Saturday, March 31, 2007 3:19 p.m. MDT
 |  E-MAIL | PRINT | FONT + - 
So you're single. An active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Age twenty-something, a college graduate with a successful career.

Sounds normal, right? After all, many singles don't even consider marriage until their late 20s, according to national studies about marriage and dating.

But not in Utah, where the legend is if you're 27, LDS and not married, you're a menace to society. Members of the LDS Church believe marriage is "ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children," according to "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," issued by the church's top leaders in 1995.

Single Latter-day Saints know marriage is an expectation, and some as young as 18 admit they feel pressure to tie the knot as soon as possible despite national trends to delay marriage.

"It's a commandment in the LDS culture, and if you're going to be obedient you're going to get married," said Jaime Rogers, an 18-year-old student at church-owned Brigham Young University.

But navigating the dating pool and finding your "eternal companion" isn't as easy as it sounds. You can't just flip through the ward directory — also known as the "ward menu" in many a singles ward — and pick out the perfect mate.

Story continues below
No known comprehensive studies have been published to date on LDS marriage age, but ask any LDS young adult or their bishop and they'll tell you that the median age for first marriages is rising.

Some blame selfishness, laziness and societal pressure to "get ahead before getting wed" as possible culprits.

"All of them have the objective of meeting someone," said Keith Wallace, former bishop of a singles ward at the University of Utah. "I think they have stronger expectations of what and where they need to be when that time arrives, both on an educational and material basis."

Bradford Fishback, 23, wants to travel and "hang out with his bros" for a while before he gets married. But at the same time, he wants a wife who will be unselfish and a good mother.

Just not yet.

"For me, and I know this sounds bad, but I'd like to travel," said Fishback, a BYU accounting student. "If I had three kids, that opportunity wouldn't be there. I value my independence more."

His buddy, Jared Frehner, said that being single allows him greater freedoms and opportunities.

"I can see the world and spend that money on me instead of girls that will break my heart — another man's wife," he said.

Local church leaders are trying to combat that attitude.

Recent comments

Jade u look HOT-SMOKIN-SIZZLIN'! I wish that was me u were dancing with.

Secret Admirer | June 23, 2009 at 9:18 p.m.

Image
Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret Morning News

Kyle Patton and Jade Ozawa, both from Salt Lake City, dance at the Blacklight STOMP! sponsored by the LDS institute at the U.

Related content
previousnext

Latest comments

Congrats on the first win! finish out last place please so we get the #1...

Y. scientists rip lawmakers on climate

Re: Kevin in the Terrace | 10:46am You want me to "...Try the peer...

Utes pound winless Lobos

is everyone forgetting Utah beat New Mexico.....New Mexico has not won a...

Utah Jazz fall apart against Kings

My mistake. My memory failed. In 1995 the Jazz did finish 60-22 and 27-14...

2A: Broncos stampede South Sevier

between south summit and san juan have been great like in 98 south summit was...

Utah is the most overrated of the Top 25 teams. I find it laughable when Ute...

Get out of debt, stay out of debt, avoid it like it was a democrat.

...to understand the slow start. Remember this is their rebuilding year...

Bennett's anti-Obama TV ad

Senator Bennett for standing up against making the next chapter in American...

Visit to paradise nightmarish for Ags

Always easy to kick a program when they are down. By the way, did you know...

Advertisements
Advertisement