From Deseret News archives:
LDS and single
Leaders counsel members to seek marriage
Sounds normal, right? After all, many singles don't even consider marriage until their late 20s, according to national studies about marriage and dating.
But not in Utah, where the legend is if you're 27, LDS and not married, you're a menace to society. Members of the LDS Church believe marriage is "ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children," according to "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," issued by the church's top leaders in 1995.
Single Latter-day Saints know marriage is an expectation, and some as young as 18 admit they feel pressure to tie the knot as soon as possible despite national trends to delay marriage.
"It's a commandment in the LDS culture, and if you're going to be obedient you're going to get married," said Jaime Rogers, an 18-year-old student at church-owned Brigham Young University.
But navigating the dating pool and finding your "eternal companion" isn't as easy as it sounds. You can't just flip through the ward directory also known as the "ward menu" in many a singles ward and pick out the perfect mate.
Some blame selfishness, laziness and societal pressure to "get ahead before getting wed" as possible culprits.
"All of them have the objective of meeting someone," said Keith Wallace, former bishop of a singles ward at the University of Utah. "I think they have stronger expectations of what and where they need to be when that time arrives, both on an educational and material basis."
Bradford Fishback, 23, wants to travel and "hang out with his bros" for a while before he gets married. But at the same time, he wants a wife who will be unselfish and a good mother.
Just not yet.
"For me, and I know this sounds bad, but I'd like to travel," said Fishback, a BYU accounting student. "If I had three kids, that opportunity wouldn't be there. I value my independence more."
His buddy, Jared Frehner, said that being single allows him greater freedoms and opportunities.
"I can see the world and spend that money on me instead of girls that will break my heart another man's wife," he said.
Local church leaders are trying to combat that attitude.
Recent comments
Jade u look HOT-SMOKIN-SIZZLIN'! I wish that was me u were dancing with.
Secret Admirer | June 23, 2009 at 9:18 p.m.
- Marines will deploy to stronghold 9:48 p.m.
- National news briefs 9:47 p.m.
- New plan to combat foreclosures 9:46 p.m.
- Iran could leave nuclear treaty 9:45 p.m.
- Shooting leads Jazz past Blazers 9:40 p.m.
- Woods to be interviewed today 9:39 p.m.
- Marriage definitions vary widely 9:38 p.m.
- Utahns back anti-bias laws 9:38 p.m.
- Definitions of marriage terms 9:38 p.m.
- Legal battles about marriage 9:38 p.m.
- Cave to be sealed with body inside
- Predicting the unpredictable: BYU wins
- Vegas, Poinsettia bowls or bust
- Glover gives Utes last-second upset
- BYU football: 5 keys to victory
- Cougars turn back Wildcats'
- Man trapped in Nutty Putty cave dies
- Running game key to BYU offense
- Woods, wife unavailable for interview
- Idaho woman dies after fall
- Cougars beat Utes, 26-23
291 - Thunder rolls by Jazz
136 - Letters: Rushing to judge Palin
134 - Man trapped in Nutty Putty cave dies
115 - Cave to be sealed with body inside
114 - Editorial: Poor welcome for Palin
113 - Letters: Trump card for believers
99 - Rivalry Week is highly profane
88 - Hall's legacy measured today
75 - Hate crimes against gays rose 11%
74
A comprehensive listing of missionary reunions being held this week.
I wanted to tell them not to go. I dropped subtle hints. "My money is on...
When I was a kid, I worshipped my grandpa. He was undoubtedly my hero....
According to your own story, "But when asked how they felt about the overall...
I'm so thrilled for the cougars!!! You boys deserved this win! You are great...
And then Max grossly dishonors the team and institution with his post-game...
NO-No-NO to any more socialism in our free country!!!
Best choice I ever made...
He didn't miss the first fieldgoal, the fact is the whistle blew and the ref...
Hey Cougars, let's all wear blue this week to keep on reminding them.
now we can all go back to the Florida highlights and losing Weis post-game...
As a fan of neither team but merely someone who lives in the state (ASU grad)...
They deserve national playoff, and national championship. Anyone who doesn't...


