For some Latter-day Saints like Bonella, the delay in marrying was not for a lack of trying. But church leaders say many singles appear to be following national trends of delaying marriage by avoiding traditional dates, such as a one-on-one evening, where a man calls a woman and asks her out.

Instead, singles are "hanging out" with members of the opposite sex in a group setting and searching the Internet for dates.

Top church leadership declined official comment for this story. But recent addresses to LDS faithful seem to indicate a growing concern about LDS young adults and marriage.

During spring commencement at BYU in 2005, Elder Earl C. Tingey, then a member of the presidency of the Seventy, called on singles to take on the adult responsibilities of marriage and family. He referred to an article in Time Magazine that called singles who avoid marriage "'twentysomething Peter Pans' who never 'grow up,"' preferring to play and work after college graduation.

Last October, LDS Church President Gordon B. Hinckley told BYU students that college was one of the best times to find a spouse. Earlier that month, during the general conference of the church, he urged males to get an education and catch up to women who are "exceeding young men in pursuing educational programs."

But perhaps the strongest example was a May 2005 talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve. He gave what Carroll calls a landmark address about dating that "gave teeth" to observations that singles were not dating as their parents and grandparents had done, following national trends.

"The average age at marriage has increased in the last few decades, and the number of children born to LDS married couples has decreased," Elder Oaks said. He cited "cultural tides" such as divorce, and negative attitudes about child-bearing, as reasons for a decline in dating and postponement of marriage.

His counsel to young church members: "It's marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for his young adult sons and daughters."

Scott Stanley, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies and a research professor of psychology at the University of Denver, said in an e-mail interview that he is "sure Mormons are following the trend in culture," as Elder Oaks suggested.

Stanley said studies show people are marrying later in life because of an emphasis on career and personal growth before marriage, and also a general fear of failure in marriage.

Aaron Wang, a 29-year-old engineer who left the LDS Church in his early 20s, said he sees no purpose in getting married at this point in his life. He lives with his girlfriend and considers cohabitation a precursor to marriage.