It's why she has always felt men could play a huge role in solving this problem, and it's why she is now working with Joe Torre, the New York Yankees manager who grew up in a home where his dad beat up his mom.

The domestic violence, not baseball, defined Torre's childhood,

Graham said.

"As you have seen — the vast majority of people working in prevention and prosecution are women," she said. "Few men are going to choose this as their issue.

· · · · ·

"They absolutely choose to do it. It's not a mental health issue. It's not a substance abuse issue. It's a choice." — Gina Painter, clinical social worker, Salt Lake County Probation Services

· · · · ·

The prescription for perpetrators of domestic violence remains elusive, Salt Lake Justice Court Judge John Baxter said.

Take an alcoholic. If that person comes before a judge and does exactly as the judge orders, research and experience demonstrate a certain degree of treatment success.

But there are personality disorders based in control that are predominant in these domestic violence cases, he said. "I see people at the podium in court trying to control me," Baxter said. "This guy is manipulative, he's obsessive." And he may think he's done nothing wrong, which makes sentencing, treatment and solutions difficult.

"You are having to change a whole learning paradigm," Baxter said. "The perp probably grew up in a house where this is acceptable, and unfortunately you often have a victim who grew up in a house where it happened, too."

He knows what courts are doing is only partially successful.

"I'll see them again and again."

· · · · ·

Two months after his hearing, on Jan. 19, Rodney Gehlen was out of jail and talked to a reporter. He said he hasn't violated the protective order, at least he doesn't think he has. He saw his former girlfriend outside the Matheson Courthouse after a recent hearing. He said he waved to her but nothing more.

He appeared in Salt Lake City Justice Court that day to answer charges stemming from the May incident. He faced charges of domestic violence assault, domestic violence in the presence of a child, unlawful detention and threats against life or property. He ultimately pleaded guilty to the latter charge while the others were dropped. He was placed on probation and ordered to undergo counseling.

Outside the courtroom Gehlen's explanation for what happened that May evening last year is simple and contradictory.