(The Alrasool mosque has many members who were born in Iraq but also members from Iran, Pakistan, India, Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Africa, the United States and Latin America. In spite of their different backgrounds they call each other "sister" and "brother" and act as though everyone is an "auntie" or "uncle" to all the children.)

Later, around 8 p.m., the services began. The worshippers listened to a scholar who had been invited from Los Angeles to conduct the services. The scholar, Mohammad Falah Alattar, spoke in English as well as Arabic. As they heard the scholar retell the story of Hussein's martyrdom, they wept. Some wailed, softly.

After the oration, the poetry began. Various men took turns chanting in Urdu, Arabic and other languages. Worshippers stood and slapped their chests in a rhythmic echo of the beat of the poetry. Later they talked about how their grief cleanses them and makes them more open to living a life of love.

As the nights progressed, Alattar followed the same order of worship being followed by Shiites around the world. He recounted the deaths of one of Hussein's devotees on one night; on following nights he spoke of Hussein's relatives and finally, on Ashoura, he spoke of Hussein himself. Alattar also personalized his talks with calls to action, gave advice on child-rearing and spoke on the importance of equality, justice and getting along with those of other faiths.

One of the great lessons to come from Karbala is that Hussein had loyal friends who were Christians, Alattar noted. "We have all been created by the same God." He challenged his listeners, "Can we live together, with all our differences, or not?"

He reminded them that they love the Jewish prophets like Abraham and Moses as well as the prophet Jesus and his mother, Mary, which is as they love Muhammad himself, the last of the great prophets. Alattar spoke against the Wahhabi Muslims, who kill innocents. He said next to nothing against the Sunni.

He did say this: "Most non-Muslims understand Islam through another school, through Sunni authors." In places like Saudi Arabia, he noted, Shiites are not allowed to write about religion. But in other places, such as the United States, they are allowed freedom of expression and so, he said, Shiites should get busy writing papers and books to present their view of the history of Islam.

As for children, Alattar said, when they are from 7 to 14 years old, a parent's main responsibility is to teach them, to pass on the necessary values. By the time children are 14, parents should treat them as friends. Alattar did issue a caution: The public high schools in this country are full of drugs and weapons, and there is peer pressure to have improper relations between the sexes. College is also a dangerous time. One way parents might protect their children is to encourage them to marry young, he said.