4. Quote their heroes. Nothing sows confusion and grudging admiration more than a heathen reciting from the Book of Mormon or LDS authority. When pleading for Democratic causes, I always rely on the wise words of those ancient liberals Alma and King Benjamin. When Republicans get really outrageous, I recall Joseph Smith's phrase "unrighteous dominion." I have become accomplished at referring to Brigham Young on various matters — regardless of whether he actually made a statement on the topic.

5. Praise the Prophet. Fortunately, this is rather easy since the LDS Church has been led by very ecumenical men in modern times. Comments about how "cool" President Gordon B. Hinckley is for appearing on "Larry King Live" and "60 Minutes" go a long way. Oftentimes, Mormons will respond to me with praise for the pope (a guy with whom I do have issues).

6. Understand the "Utah Way." In that great movie "The Untouchables," Sean Connery 's character police officer Jim Malone describes open and direct confrontation with opponents — usually with weapons — as the "Chicago Way." Different methods are used in the Beehive State. When one openly attacks or challenges native Utahns, they rarely respond with direct confrontation. You will either be greeted with smiles and expressions of friendship, or completely ignored, while your opponent is thinking of various ways to stick it to you. I do not care much for this wimpy passive-aggressive behavior, but it is how business is done in our community.

7. Play to your strengths. For the most part, Utahns are homogeneous and reserved by nature. Consequently, Mormons find endearing personal distinctive qualities that stand out. Because of my Italian heritage, I wave my arms and raise my voice in even the most subdued conversations — which many Utahns view as charming.

8. Accept the compliment. Some nonmembers are angered over the attempts by their Mormon associates to convert them. So what? Every day billions are spent to change our preferences for toothpaste, automobiles, clothing, etc. LDS faithful do not receive commissions for conversions — their willingness to share the faith is genuine. I'm always honored when a member courts an obnoxious heathen like me.