Refocus and renew by rekindling gratitude
I wailed to my husband I use the word wail "What does it matter? Nothing I do matters, not with cleaning, not with helping others, not with the kids."
I recounted my trials of working with the children to get ready for school by themselves; it had been four torturous months without having attained self-sufficiency. I shared my frustration with the mud on the floor, the broken computer/toys/VCR, my missing scissors/wrapping paper/shoelaces from every laced shoe, buttons from every school shirt (used, without my consent, for a Scout's button collection), and on and on.
Throughout this woe-was-me, my husband was amazing. He listened, nodded and used my own communication techniques on me. He validated "I'm so sorry, honey"; he asked questions: "What do you think would help?" and he got closure "I think you are doing an incredible job and you will see the fruits when you least expect it," or something equally self-developmental.
Though what he said helped, I wasn't ready to let go of my pity party. When you have the blahs, you are not rational, you are not accountable, you are just in a funk and in need of whining and chocolate. This objectivity comes with the knowledge that a teaching moment is right around the corner to catapult one out of the blah-zone. And sure enough it was.
Within a short period of time I learned the following: a dear friend's husband had just lost his job and the best possibilities were vague and clear across the country. The husbands of two friends, with young families, had both come down with sudden and serious heart problems and were without diagnoses.
A friend's child had suddenly contracted a serious disease and needed a transplant while another woman's child had been in a serious accident, was still in the hospital and would be there for a long time to come. This was just after I read about the true recent experience of a woman whose child was born with Down's syndrome and her dealing with the difficult knowledge that he would never drive a car, never go to prom and never live by himself. Ever.
Suddenly, self-sufficiency was put into perspective. The children, the laundry and even the toilet cleaning downsized to appropriate scale while, simultaneously, listening to these grave situations gave me needed opportunity to get out of myself and give the support my husband had shared with me.
Driving home after these visits, I could hardly wait to wrap my arms around each one of my family, thankful they could breathe, speak and even use the potty.
Comments
- Funds for new courthouse approved 1:48 a.m.
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- 2 country groups to perform 1:47 a.m.
- Rumor has Boozer with Bulls 1:20 a.m.
- Jazz in back of line for free agents 1:19 a.m.
- Okur signs two-year extension 1:18 a.m.
- Marion to Mavs, Stackhouse to Griz 1:16 a.m.
- Price for redistricting plan challenged 1:04 a.m.
- Basketball campers learn service 1:02 a.m.
- Rumor has Boozer with Bulls
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- Jazz in back of line for free agents
- Okur signs two-year extension
- Restaurant destroyed by fire
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- A primer for the 6th Potter film
- Blazers may offer Millsap a contract
- AK will not play for Russia this summer
- Jazz rally for OT win at Orlando
- Bronco collecting a galaxy of recruits
138 - Letters: Palin mistreated
136 - Teachers struggle with district cuts
134 - Blazers may offer Millsap a contract
122 - Rumor has Boozer with Bulls
82 - Fairness of BCS debated
81 - Moon landing: Let's hear from you
73 - Chaffetz eyes challenging Bennett
72 - Services bids farewell to Jackson
70 - Letters: Time for a revolution
69
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