From Deseret News archives:

Dave Barry's holiday gift guide

Like 75-pound art book, these gifts are just useless

By Dave Barry

Published: Thursday, Nov. 30, 2006 5:54 p.m. MST

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$349 and up, plus shipping and handling, from Yachtsee.com, 16458 Bolsa Chica St., No. 404, Huntington Beach, CA 92649-2603, 888-774-7372; www.yachtsee.com/cruzincooler.htm. Suggested by Tom Snyder and Margaret A. Bogie of Chantilly, Va.

There can be no question that the three greatest inventions in the history of mankind are:

1. The wheel.

2. The motor.

3. The cooler.

For far too long, mankind was able to combine only the first two of these inventions. Finally that has changed with the invention, by guys, of the Cruzin Cooler, which is a working cooler outfitted with wheels and a motor. Here at the Gift Guide we ordered one of these babies several months ago, and we can honestly say that we have never driven a vehicle that has caused more people to go, quote, "What the heck is THAT?"

We would not be surprised if Cruzin Coolers became popular with famous celebrities, and you started seeing them being valet-parked at swank nightclubs. We also would not be surprised if it turned out that spiders understand Morse code. We are just plain hard to surprise.

Snow-Thrower Cab

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$89.99 plus shipping and handling from Improvements, Hanover, PA 17333-0084, 800-642-2112; www.ImprovementsCatalog.com. Suggested by Connie King of Beavercreek, Ohio.

This is the ideal gift for the outdoorsperson on your holiday gift list. This is an amazing invention that corrects the biggest single flaw in the outdoors, namely, that it is located out of doors. This is basically a personal little room that you can walk around in, to protect yourself from the elements — snow, sleet, argon, etc. It was originally designed for use with snow throwers, but we see no reason why you can't wear this baby anywhere that you're likely to encounter weather. Football games, for example. Why should you get rained or snowed on? You can root in comfort inside your cab while the losers in the seats around you get soaked. Ha ha!

Toilet Monster

$15.89 plus shipping and handling from Prank Place, 600 Four Rod Road, Berlin, CT 06037, 800-901-1163; www.PrankPlace.com. Suggested by Dan Sauberlich of Rockford, Ill. and Layla Bohm of Lodi, Calif.

This is just the decor accessory to spice up a "ho-hum" bathroom.