Omiheck! Campaign for Romney?

Published: Monday, Oct. 30, 2006 10:36 p.m. MST
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The 2008 presidential election is still two years away, and already we're getting a preview of one theme now certain to emerge during the campaign:

Omiheck, a Mormon in the White House!?!

Well, not yet, and, by the way, cancel those hopes for a campaign in which the candidate's religion is not an issue.

Mitt Romney — the Massachusetts governor, the Mormon Guy, the hero who saved the Salt Lake Olympics (his view, according to his own book) — hasn't even declared his candidacy and already there is a controversy over his candidacy.

Romney is reportedly rallying support from LDS Church leaders at various levels for the presidential race.

According to Boston Globe reporters, Romney's political team has consulted LDS Church leaders to map out "plans for a nationwide network of LDS supporters to help Romney capture the presidency in 2008." His "political operatives" and church leaders also reportedly have discussed building a grass-roots political organization using alumni chapters of BYU's business school around the country.

Uh, huh. Hmmm. Let me see if I've got this straight. They're concerned that Romney and Pals are going to utilize "a nationwide network" and a "grass-roots" organization of LDS Church members to collect donations and rally support for The First Mormon President?

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Is this the same nationwide grass-roots organization that gets asked to do "home teaching" each month?

Is this the same "nationwide network" that was told to gather a year's supply of food, oh, about the turn of the century — the LAST century?

Aren't these the same people who were told by their church leaders to do their family history?

And, by the way, will the election be moved to the last Sunday of the month? Because if it's not, forget about it.

They might as well ask them to volunteer for a canning assignment.

(Memo to people outside the culture who aren't up to speed with the lingo: Sorry, let me explain — on second thought: no, there is too much.)

Will they extend the hours of the voting centers so the people in the nationwide network and grass-roots organization get there before it closes — shall we say 11 p.m. Mormon Standard Time?

They think they can get 5.7 million American Mormons to swing the election?

Good luck.

They can add Romney's campaign to the list of things they're supposed to do, right behind the canned food drive and planning the Boy Scouts' 50-miler.

If Democrats and Romney's rivals had any familiarity with the local culture, they would have laughed at that newspaper report. There are some things Mormons will do quickly, but usually it involves food, or helping neighbors in need, which are sometimes the same thing.

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