Faiths offer more help for gays

Group of LDS gays say they can choose to live life morally

The specifics of their theology may differ, but gays and lesbians who struggle with their sexuality and look to their Judeo-Christian faith for help can find a wider variety of resources within their denominations — and in those of other faiths — than ever before, without the demand that they must change or be damned.

According to officials with a local support network, that's particularly true for gay members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, several hundred of whom are expected to attend the final sessions of the 16th annual Evergreen International conference today at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.

David Pruden, director of Evergreen, said his organization — which is not formally affiliated with the LDS Church but promotes its doctrines and standards — is one of several religious ministries across the country working to provide more resources for homosexuals and their family members.

Gender issue ministry for Latter-day Saints has evolved greatly in the past 16 years, he said. When he joined the organization a decade ago, there were only a couple of LDS therapists considered to be experts on the topic. Early on, organizers went to LDS Family Services for advice on resources and were told, "We don't know what to tell you," he said.

Consequently, the group took direction from the only experts they had, meaning the theories espoused by one or two counselors "probably had a disproportional influence" on what became the group's central focus at that time: "changing" people from homosexual to heterosexual, often with a heavy emphasis on the potential for eternal punishment rather than on coping with daily realities.

"In the early days, this thing was therapist-driven and (LDS) priesthood-driven," Pruden said. "When they set it up, they said, 'What do we do?' where the (church) doctrine says this and therapists believed this. The problem is, there were not a lot of people around who had actually dealt with it around," and those who were dealing with it weren't talking about it — particularly if they didn't feel they could change their orientation.

"The influence of people who have lived this has now grown, and they're moving into a longer time now of having been successful" at dealing with homosexual tendencies, even if they haven't seen them evaporate. "It doesn't just go away for everyone," even those who work at overcoming such feelings for years on end, he said.

"We've seen many of those people who are marrying, who have become bishops and stake presidents," and many of those who sought help early on "are now exerting themselves much more in the process" of reaching out to others with similar struggles through Evergreen, Pruden said. "It's no longer controlled by theoreticians" with no personal understanding of what is helpful and what isn't.

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