From Deseret News archives:
What politicians are saying, and what they mean
As a public service to readers, we hereby provide the 2006 installment of what politicos are saying and what they really mean:
"After careful analysis, I have determined that Gov. Huntsman's dual option tax proposal holds tremendous benefit to the state." (The Guv wined and dined me at the governor's mansion, stroked my ego, asked how the kids are doing, and told me I was important.)
"I remain unpersuaded that Gov. Huntsman's dual option tax proposal is proper reform." (I want another lunch at the Governor's Mansion and more stroking.)
"I wanted to retire from public life, but because so many constituents begged me to stay, I am willing to make the sacrifice and run again." (I really enjoy the perks of the office, and I need the insurance.)
"I will never raise taxes!" (But I never said anything about revenue enhancements, income bracketing and fee adjustments.)
"I am steadfast in my defense of family values and the Constitution." (I don't want to discuss any of the hard issues.)
"I am here at your doorstep to listen to your concerns firsthand." (You don't want me bothering you, and I certainly don't want to be here, so let's make this painless: Take the brochure and don't ask any questions.)
"I am not beholden to special interest groups!" (Taking their money, free lunches, Jazz tickets and golf games isn't "beholden.")
"The pressing demands of elected office limit my participation in debates." (I'm ahead, so why give my opponent a forum?)
"I don't care how you vote, as long as you vote." (Please be impressed with my statesman-like posturing, no matter how insincere.)
"I'm looking forward to an invigorating campaign!" (I have to face another election!? Can't they just give it to me this time?)
"As a member of the minority party, I'm committed to diversity and political balance." (I can't get any bills passed, so what else can I say?)
Comments
- Utes prepare to go bowling 6:15 a.m.
- Unbeaten BYU takes trip to Logan 6:14 a.m.
- Wildcats dangerous foe for Utes 6:04 a.m.
- Flash get dramatic win over D-Fenders 6:01 a.m.
- All-MWC football awards 5:57 a.m.
- Deseret News Ms. Volleyball 2009 5:48 a.m.
- 5A All-State volleyball teams 5:14 a.m.
- 4A All-State volleyball teams 5:14 a.m.
- 3A volleyball All-State teams 5:14 a.m.
- 2A All-State teams 5:14 a.m.
- 2 citations issued at Y.-U. game
- BYU says Hall incident resolved
- Witness: Mitchell wanted attention
- Max Hall: a fixture in rivalry lore
- 'Grandfamilies' a growing trend
- MWC '09 season in review
- Find joy in life, Bishop Burton says
- Mitchell called intelligent, controlling
- Daughter: Mitchell fed me my pet
- Jazz ready to be without Harpring
- Hall mouths off about hate of Utah
906 - Cougars beat Utes in overtime
483 - Hall reprimanded by MWC
404 - Max Hall issues apology
387 - Hall's pain reflects self-betrayal
349 - Utes won't respond to Hall
276 - BYU says Hall incident resolved
238 - 2 citations issued at Y.-U. game
163 - BYU is champion of the state
143 - Religion in politics is tiresome
130
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