Choking Dog team roster is filling up

Back when he was still playing for the Dallas Cowboys, Utah Blaze coach Danny White was in a minor traffic accident involving a teenager. When he got out of the car, the kid recognized White as the quarterback who failed to get the Cowboys to a Super Bowl. He referred to him as "you choking dog."

That was cruel and uncalled for.

However, this isn't: the first-ever "Choking Dog Awards" — presented to the teams, individuals or events that have shown a recent tendency to choke.

Sorry we couldn't get Billy Crystal to M.C. the event, but we're on a budget. Still, it's not every day you earn a Choking Dog or "Chog" to put on the mantel.

The envelope please . . .

And the winners are . . .

• Phil Mickelson. A two-shot lead with four holes to play; all he has to do is make par on 18 to win the U.S. Open. Instead he double-bogeys his way into infamy in one of the biggest collapses in golf history. So long Mickelslam. Hello Phil the Chill.

Hey, Lefty, CAN WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION? How about playing it close to the vest for a change? Oh, right. Masters winners don't wear vests, only jackets.

On the bright side, props for saying, "I'm still in shock that I did that. I just can't believe that I did that. I'm such an idiot."

If only Terrell Owens were so candid.

• World Cup officials. Three red cards in one game? Ten-on-nine?

Fans paid to see the full USA-Italy match, not the mini-version. How fair would baseball, football or basketball be if ejected players weren't replaced?

Any more games like that and they should ditch the refs completely. Let the players call their own fouls like they do in the early rounds of Hoop-it-Up.

• KSL-TV. Airing Real Salt Lake instead of the Stanley Cup Finals is like showing "I Love Lucy" instead of a moon landing. Yes, we know all about local ratings and the scheduling conflict. Change it anyway. Farm RSL's game out to someone else. Had Carolina won on Saturday, the Cup title would have been decided then. Salt Lakers would have been hurled back to the '50s, when people found out who won by reading the paper.

Besides, we'd have missed seeing all those sweaty, toothless guys hugging one another.

• The Pittsburgh Steelers. A big Chog to them for not fining or suspending Ben Roethlisberger for driving a motorcycle without a helmet or license. Avoiding risk is in his contract. So fine him 50 large and let him think about it. Better yet, make him write "Ben Roethlisberger will not ride motorcycles" in cursive a hundred times on the blackboard.