'Idol' is no free ride

"American Idol" is loaded with the biggest collection of self-deceived people on TV.

And I'm not talking about the no-talent screechers who think they can sing. I'm talking about all the finalists who don't end up winning the competition.

Almost invariably, a finalist voted off the show will say something along the lines of, "I'm just so grateful for the exposure, which will help me launch a big singing career."

That's a self-comforting thought, but the facts don't bear it out. Simple mathematics indicate otherwise. Even if we count just the last 10 finalists from each of the five "Idol" seasons to date, that's 50 people expecting big singing careers.

There isn't room on the music scene for 50 new stars.

This year's finalists, Taylor Hicks and Katharine McPhee, still have big dreams as they perform tonight (7 p.m., Ch. 13). But there are not guarantees for either of them.

Two of the four "American Idol" winners to date (Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood) have been launched into legitimate music stardom, which is a darn good batting average. But two of the other winners (Ruben Studdard and Fantasia) certainly can't claim to be in the same league.

Of the nonwinnerss, Clay Aiken was hot. (At least for a while.) A few others, such as Bo Bice, have made or might make some noise.

The sad fact is that tone-deaf William Hung sold more CDs than the vast majority of "American Idol" finalists.

Being an "American Idol" finalist is certainly your ticket to 15 minutes of fame. But if you don't win — and sometimes even if you do — it's more likely a ticket to singing the national anthem at sporting events, playing state fairs or doing dinner theater than it is to the top of the music charts.

THERE'S IRONY IN the title of "Desperation," the three-hour TV movie adapted by Stephen King from his 1996 novel — it's airing tonight (7 p.m., Ch. 4) opposite the penultimate episode of "American Idol."

Desperate networks do desperate things.

As for "Desperation" itself, it's not a bad King adaptation. It's not a really good one, either, but it's OK.

"Desperation" is the name of a small town in Nevada where you don't want to go. In addition to the weird behavior of the animals and the dead people all over the place, there's a crazy lawman (Ron Perlman) who thinks nothing of imprisoning and murdering tourists.

Bet that wasn't in the brochure.

The action follows what happens when folks (including Tom Skerritt, Steven Weber, Annabeth Gish, Timothy Hutton, Matt Frewer and Shane Haboucha) are trapped by the sheriff and the evil that infests the town. Some of them are waylaid on their way to Salt Lake City, a much less scary — and waaaaay less gruesome — place.

The movie opens and ends pretty well, but there's a big lull in the middle that could send you drifting off.

"Desperation" is, however, an improvement over "Kingdom Hospital," the stinker that helped get the then-president of ABC fired when it bombed.

Has King entirely recovered from the critical drubbing "Kingdom Hospital" took? Here are these words from the fictional novelist in "Desperation":

"I hate critics!"

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E-mail: pierce@desnews.com