Stay-at-home parenting no walk in the park
"I envy you," I said. "I often think about how fortunate you are to have so much time to experience the richness of parenting."
I meant that. But over the next few months, every time I called home and the children were screaming or Stacey had to get off the phone because one of them had spilled something or our conversation was interrupted by unexplained loud thumping sounds, she would say, "Gotta go. I need to take care of some 'richness.' "
Which isn't to say Stacey doesn't enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. On the contrary, she says she loves it, thinks it's the most fulfilling thing she has done and usually does find it to be a rich experience. But the point is, parenting is hard work.
I knew that, intellectually. But as a "secondary caregiver," I hadn't experienced the full force of it.
That is, until last week.
Stacey and our infant son left early March 2 for a long weekend in Texas with her parents and siblings, leaving me to take care of our three girls, ages 8, 5 and 3.
I had taken care of the girls before but never for more than a day. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. After five years in the job, I understand my role as business editor pretty well. I have a routine I follow each day, and I can roll with the punches when the unexpected occurs. But I do not have that same confidence at home.
My biggest worry was their hair. I had NEVER "styled" our girls' hair before. The one time I tried to brush the hair of our oldest daughter, when she was about 3, it ended in sobbing (by her, not me). So I took the easy way out and put her in a coat with a hood until I could take her to her mother.
That was not an option this time. Stacey gave me some basic tips before she left, and then it was up to me. Needless to say, the hairstyles were simple during her absence. I focused on brushing the snarls out and making it look not quite so messy, maybe adding a clip or headband. But I think they looked presentable every day. At least, no one pointed and laughed when we were out in public. (For those of you who saw us and wanted to, I thank you for holding back the chuckles.)
After dealing with their hair, my next biggest worry was choosing clothes. I'm not much for matching styles and colors, so I secretly hoped Stacey would set out five days' worth of outfits for the girls before she left. But she didn't have time, so she just told me to remember things I had seen them wear before and use the same combinations. I nodded confidently, because I didn't want to admit that I never really paid much attention to what they were wearing, other than to think they always looked cute. Luckily, our oldest knows what does and does not match, and she gave her OK on everything I chose during the week.
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