As the dialogues progressed, a palpable sense of relief — and appreciation — pervaded the process. For many participants — Mormon and people with other backgrounds — this was the first time and place where they could speak candidly with people who wanted to listen about experiences or feelings that had long troubled them. As one person noted, these dialogue groups "gave people a place to talk about what was sometimes unspeakable in their own circles." Another commented, "I was able to express feelings I hadn't expressed publicly before."

Sometimes conversations were analytical and outward looking. More often, the talk tended to be introspective, with participants speaking from personal experiences and sharing stories from their own lives. This kind of exchange was challenging at times. "I found that getting closer to the divide can be scary," said one person. "It takes 'hanging in there.' " "Sometimes it is hard not to mentalize and abstract," noted another, "but to stay with personal experience."

Many participants reported, however, that such one-to-one talk was the most rewarding. And for some, the opportunity to talk personally about experiences that had left them sad or hurt or angry was transformative. After sharing a painful story about how her children were shunned at school because of their religious affiliation, one woman said, "I felt like a huge burden had lifted from me." Another participant observed, "It's significant how transforming it can be to have someone listen to you in empathy across the divide." One person noted that the process helped her "let go of my anger." Yet another said, "The opportunity to express hurt was healing." Someone else reflected, "This has helped me put some things to rest."

What was talked about

Conversations were wide-ranging. Groups discussed core beliefs, shared their experiences of the divide, explored causes and contributions, and grappled with hard questions about how to negotiate differences in their own lives. Some observations that were common to many groups include the following.

Some themes emerging from the discussions:

• The divide touches many people.

• The divide causes a lot of pain.

• Children are especially affected by the divide.

• The divide has many causes and contributions.

The divide touches many people