The "bridges" dialogue project had its limits. Many voices from the community were absent, including people who do not feel there is a divide or who are too angry or apathetic to feel it is worth talking. A few groups were small and had less diversity of perspective than desirable. Some people felt the process was too short. Some groups found it difficult to meet on a regular basis over the summer. Everyone who participated was learning how to approach the conversation.

But most people who participated in the "bridges" dialogues found the process deeply worthwhile. As this letter shows, many came away with new insights and expanded perspectives. Some found the experience life-altering. Others discovered a new — and expanded — sense of community. "I felt an outsider," commented one person at the end of the project. "Now I feel I can be myself in community." "This process reminded me that we are in this community together," said another. "It put a human face on the divide. I realized I can't really retreat to my own side. I've realized we share this community."

Perhaps most important, many came away with a renewed sense of possibility. One participant, reflecting the feelings of many, summed it up this way: "I feared meaningful dialogue was not possible. I've seen possibilities for dialogue turn into 'you're wrong and now I'm going to tell you why.' But this experience convinced me people are capable of honest open dialogue. It makes me hopeful."

What the process was like

As one might imagine, many participants approached the process with trepidation. Some worried that the atmosphere would be contentious. Others feared being the target of "venting." What the participants found, however, with very limited exceptions, was honest — yet respectful — conversation. As one person commented, "I came in prepared to meet people with an ax to grind who wanted to grind it on me. But I feel we have been able to dialogue freely and we've had real issues. I never felt attacked." Another said, "There were earnest expressions of frustration at times, but I never felt 'vented upon' by others."

Most groups made agreements when they first met about how they wanted to talk to each other, typically calling for honest but respectful exchange, and agreeing to speak up if someone said something that was offensive or difficult for them to hear. To the surprise of some, the biggest challenge at times was reluctance to open up contentious issues for fear of offending each other.