The fact that she is both a non-Mormon and a lesbian didn't play a part in discussions with her religious divide group. "I knew I had to announce (her sexual orientation) right away. If you don't, people find out on their own. So I did, and no one ran screaming from the table.. . . They never to my face treated me with anything but the utmost respect and courtesy."

As a member of the board of the local Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center of Utah, she knows many others in the gay and lesbian community who are estranged from their LDS families. Many LDS gays marry and have families to avoid the religious and social stigma, she said.

"You look at it from an outside perspective and see a great deal of pain. It puts parents in an impossible position. They're enjoined to keep their families together at all costs, yet there's a family member who won't be able to join them in the celestial kingdom," the highest degree of heaven, according to LDS theology.

Stewart said she thinks the divide is perpetuated by prominent people who "make statements that are hurtful" to local minority groups, including her own. "I believe they are doing it from a sincere belief that they're doing what is right. But the effect is to demonize whole groups of people, even as the LDS Church has many members who are open to others with a capital 'O' who are tolerant, loving and accepting."

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E-mail: carrie@desnews.com