However, he said, the boundaries of tact are commonly pushed among some LDS Church members who know who a ward's next bishop or new area leader is but say they don't know when asked. "I can't say" is a more truthful response and it respects both the information until it is formally announced as well as those who will be affected by it.

Gregory Koukl, a radio host who discusses white lies and other deceptions on the "Stand to Reason" Web site, www.str.org, says that all sin is not the same to God — that even He makes distinctions. It's therefore possible or us to "solve ethical dilemmas. When stuck between two options, we choose the greater good."

Regarding white lies, Koukl said people should tell the truth unless they have a more weighty reason not to be totally truthful. He's also against avoiding awkwardness by telling an untruth. For example, telling someone after a date you will call when you have no intention of doing so is lying to two people and temporarily saves face for one at the expense of the other.

Quinn G. McKay, a former business ethics professor at the University of Utah and author of the book Is Lying Sometimes the Right Thing for an Honest Person to Do?. wonders if the seemingly harmless white lie of "Santa Claus" is the initial step onto a slippery slope of rationalization that truth-telling is not objective but merely based on one's own perception of what being honest means. Santa may be the first 'little white lie' that parents tell their children.

In a 2003 Deseret Morning News interview, McKay also said that his decades-long search for the realities of being honest brought him to one inescapable conclusion — "Lying is sometimes the right thing for an honest person to do."

McKay said, for example, he couldn't have in good conscience told Nazi soldiers that Jews were hiding in his home simply because it was the truth. And he suspects most people would be able to justify the same decision.

So, while McKay always told his students that he didn't approve of fraud, money-laundering or other types of crime, he does hold out to them the possibility that all of them might very well be dishonest — often without realizing it.

For example, McKay said think about when you praised a self-conscious child's performance, no matter how disappointing the result. Did you "state the true facts" and "convey a true impression?" Or did you "rationalize" and tell yourself that the child's tender feelings were the primary consideration in your effusive praise?

Overstatement or exaggeration is one of what McKay calls four "devilish devices of deception." The other three: outright lying; understatement; withholding information.

Because we don't live in a perfect world, McKay believes anyone who wants to be ethical and honest must "spend some conscientious effort in deciding when lying would be justified and then articulate meaningful and practical guidelines."

Just as you may mislead opponents on the basketball court by faking a jump shot, most businesses use some form of deception, McKay has noted. Examples include the way they price their merchandise at $9.99 (mental manipulation), the "extra" charges that aren't quoted up front or the puffery that makes small businesses seem larger or have more longevity than it does.

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Contributing: Carrie Moore, Deseret Morning News.

E-mail: lynn@desnews.com