What is it about new beginnings that is so freeing to our souls? Is it the idea of a clean slate and starting over?

We wait until the " 'til tomorrow" to do it, Monday to start a diet and New Year's Day to make those resolutions to turn over a new leaf. This could be another form of that procrastination that paralyzes us with the fear of messing up yet again. It is also a way for us to perpetuate the abuse we suffered our whole lives; we beat ourselves up. It is time to stop the procrastination and jump in right where you are! No more waiting 'til. You can do this! You can start over any time you want to!

You know how we sometimes get our days kicked off by a phone call that puts us on the wrong foot! We just can't seem to get anything accomplished for putting out fires all day. When this happens to me I start my day over by just pretending to get out of bed for the first time. Then my routines guide me, and I don't have to think. It is like forgetting the words to your favorite poem and needing to go back to the beginning to remember them all in order. Our minds love the order, and it just flows out of us when we use this technique of starting over. We put one foot in front of the other as if we were doing an aerobic dance.

I don't like feeling like I have two left feet. Several years ago I took an aerobics class. I am not the most coordinated person in the world. It was hard for me to clap my hands and kick my feet at the same time. My instructor was a ballerina and was so graceful with her moves. I loved watching her, but that was part of my problem. I could not watch and do it. I was always one step behind her and felt so clumsy. One day after class she took me aside and explained how she had learned the steps. She said it was all about learning small portions of it and putting it together in sections. This is what I call "BabySteps" now. She said walking slowly though the motions would help me to teach my muscles what to do. The muscles have a memory of their own. I used this technique in my fly-fishing instruction and with our "FlyLady" routines.

In our "I want what I want, and I want it now" attitude of perfectionism, we beat ourselves up before we ever give our bodies a chance to learn our routines. We try to do too much too fast, and the simple little habits become overwhelming, because we think we should be able to do it all and right this minute. If we would just be nice to ourselves for a moment, then we would see that with little "BabySteps" we can learn anything!

This is what I realized in January of 1999 when I made my last New Year's resolution. I had never had success at getting organized, because I didn't have a routine. I had not practiced one habit until it became automatic. I had always tried to do too much too fast and crashed and burned. I was tired of failing, so I decided to be nice to myself for the first time ever. I chose one habit to practice for the whole month of January. That one habit was all I was required to do. I didn't pile on too much. I just did the one item on my obsessive, overwhelming routine I had put on paper. That was just keeping my sink clean and shiny. From that one habit each month I was able to practice another habit till it became automatic. Just as with learning my aerobic routine. I put my little habits together in to morning dance to start my day. When my feet hit the floor I glide through my routine and celebrate each little accomplishment. No more am I beating myself up because I just didn't have time to get dressed.

Routines are not straightjackets. They are frameworks to our day, and each habit is part of that support structure! So if you ever get started on the wrong foot then just start your day over! It is so easy to do when you are not stuck in your perfectionism. You can do this, and it is so much fun! Isn't that all we really want to do?

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Marla Cilley, a k a FlyLady, is the author of Sink Reflections (Bantam Books Trade Paperback). For more help, please go to her Web site: www.FlyLady.net. © 2005