From Deseret News archives:

Alone in the fold: Many LDS gays struggle to cling to faith despite their yearnings

Published: Friday, Dec. 2, 2005 10:38 p.m. MST
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The causes of homosexuality "aren't known," says Lee Beckstead, a local psychologist who recently studied the outcome of various forms of therapy among gay Latter-day Saints. Just as church members populate a diverse political spectrum, the beliefs and ideas about how to treat homosexuality among Latter-day Saints also vary widely.

A broad spectrum of opinion exists within the psychotherapeutic community — including LDS practitioners — on what is most helpful for those dealing with same-sex attraction.

"We don't know what causes heterosexuality, so we don't know what causes homosexuality. We have theories developed when clinicians asked clients about their past, and we're learning about family relationships," Beckstead said. "But I think it all depends on people's beliefs about what causes sexual orientation."

Cause underlies "reparative therapy," designed to teach men to be more masculine and women to be more feminine.

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Within the LDS Church, he said, conversion or "reparative" therapists believe once they know the cause of homosexuality, they can find the cure. Based on assumptions about the cause, including "a deficit in someone's gender identity," the view maintains that people are all "basically heterosexual, and 'because my father didn't love me enough' " there was a disconnection or inferiority that developed in relationships with other men. Thus, it seeks to help men develop healthy heterosexual relationships with the goal of having them become heterosexual, he said.

The opposite clinical approach, called gay-affirmative therapy, also creates a challenge for LDS clients committed to living in accordance with the dictates of their faith, which eschews sexual relationships outside heterosexual marriage and teaches that families will be "together forever." Such therapy supports and encourages a gay lifestyle.

Yet many LDS clients want to change the attraction rather than simply follow it, and opposing views on how to deal with the attraction complicate treatment for them, Beckstead said. "Just because you have same-sex attraction doesn't mean you have to be in a gay relationship."

Beckstead has concluded that "neither conversion therapies nor typical gay-affirmative therapies have met the needs of all conflicted clients" and that therapists need to explore new ways to meet their needs.

"God is a huge topic: Can God love them despite their attraction or because of the attraction? It's about approval from God and society and really needing that, while in the wider culture, it's more a focus on societal approval: I can't be gay because parents will hate me, my spouse will leave me, or it doesn't fit in with being black or being Chinese."

Recent comments

I am now in my 55 year and have struggled with same gender...

Frank Hays | Sept. 4, 2009 at 11:16 a.m.

This is a great article and I can feel the pain of those who are...

Concerned | Dec. 11, 2007 at 12:55 a.m.

Image
Matis family photo

Stuart Matis while serving as an LDS missionary in Rome. Stuart struggled with same-sex attraction and finally gave up the fight on Feb. 25, 2000, when he shot himself.

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