Don't make the family decorate on a deadline

Did you know that you don't have to decorate your home in one single day? It seems that none of us have that kind of time anyway, so why don't we enjoy the process and do a little every day?

I have a friend who puts up a naked tree for Thanksgiving Day with just the lights on it, and as each guest arrives they are given their choice of ornaments to place on its branches. Then each night after that she makes a big deal out of putting on a few more decorations; her family might light a candle and carefully pick out the ornament to put on the tree. Then they could turn on the lights and admire it as it blossomed before their eyes.

Now isn't that much more fun than trying to do it all at once and letting your perfectionism take over and ruin it for everyone?

Our mother made Christmas torture for us because of her perfectionism. Every icicle had to be hung just so so and this crazy tree she wanted us to help construct had no room for us in the house. We felt like it was this big monster in the living room that was about to devour us. It is probably because when we were making the tree, it was her perfectionism that was the hateful part. I know you are trying to figure out what kind of tree this was; it is really hard to explain, but I will try.

Imagine a plain tree without any leaves: not an evergreen tree either; just branches and no leaves.

Then she would cut one inch strip of cotton quilt batting for us to wrap around each and every single branch: there could be no bark showing at all.

This tree took over our living room. You had to turn sideways to go to the bedrooms.

Then she would buy only one color of glass ball ornaments. We had to put them on the tree spaced perfectly.

Then there were the icicles. This just sends me into spasms to think of this. Each icicle had to hang evenly over the branch and they had to be spaced one inch apart all over this tree.

Do you hear the perfectionism? This was just the inside of the house. (I'm not even going to talk about all the lights on the outside of the house.)

So don't allow your perfectionism to ruin the holidays for everyone in the family including you! It is not fun to feel guilty for yelling at your babies. Let go of your perfectionism and find yourself FLYing to a different tune this holiday season.

A lot of our bad mouths and fussy attitudes come from feeling pressured by too much to do and not thinking that there is enough time.

All I want you to do is spend 15 minutes a day with your Holiday Control Journal. If you have not downloaded your free ticket to cruise through the holidays; then go do it now. www.Flylady.net. We also have a link to our Holiday Cruising Missions and a video clip of me explaining about our peaceful "holiday cruise."

Are your ready to "cruise" through the holidays?

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Marla Cilley, a k a FlyLady, is the author of Sink Reflections (Bantam Books Trade Paperback). For more help, please go to her Web site: www.FlyLady.net. © 2005