Divorce trend is troubling

Social scientists have long studied the effects of divorce on former spouses and their children. Researchers have now reviewed 30 years of national data to develop a better understanding of the effects on children of divorce in their own marriages.

The trends are troubling. A child of divorce is twice as likely to get divorced, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger. A couple is three times as likely to divorce if each spouse is a child of divorce. Wolfinger, who published these findings in a new book titled "Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages," says "ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time."

This phenomenon suggests that married couples with children need to go to extraordinary lengths to attempt to work through the tough spots in their marriages because their children's future happiness may very well depend upon it.

That said, working through problems in a marriage requires both partners to fully invest in counseling and other labors to improve their union. Some research suggests that couples who work through their troubles end up happier in the end. Sometimes, that is not an option. In the case of an abusive marriage, divorce may become necessary to stem violence. Domestic violence can have its own ill effects among children who witness it.

Interestingly, Wolfinger's research found that "divorce transmission" is highest if parents divorce after little or no conflict. Divorce after a great deal of conflict teaches children that divorce is the last resort.

The bottom line is: Children learn about marital commitment by observing their parents. Divorce can undermine their sense of commitment to a lifelong marriage.

Understanding that children of divorce may have greater challenges in their own marriages, it is helpful to understand the flip side of the equation — factors that tend to enhance the longevity of marriages. People who marry as teenagers, have little education, lower incomes and no religious background are far more prone to divorce than people who marry later in life, are college educated, have higher incomes and are religious.

Of course, most people tend to marry for love, which means they're not interested in odds and statistics as they march to the altar. The best anyone can do is to commit to working through the rough spots, understanding that a healthy marriage not only is important to the well-being of the respective spouses and society at large, it can have a ripple effect in future generations.