Buxton said those with same-sex attraction face a dilemma in the choice of whether to participate in or refrain from homosexual behavior and gay activism. Participation is one solution to the dilemma, he said, adding people in general tend to seek out peers with similar backgrounds and experiences.

Yet active Latter-day Saints live by a strict moral code that holds people accountable for the moral choices they make, and the spiritual and cultural consequences loom large for those who struggle, he said.

Young adult Latter-day Saints are particularly challenged by the expectation that they will date, marry and form traditional family units, and those with same-sex attraction find themselves increasingly isolated as friends marry and move on.

Pruden said while the topic is still taboo among some Latter-day Saints, many are realizing they have family members, friends or neighbors who struggle and who need a community of caring people they can depend on.

Buxton said to do so effectively, family members, friends and church leaders must look past actions they may find distasteful and love those with same-sex attraction "in a way that conveys love and safety" as exemplified by Jesus' teachings to "love thy neighbor."

"The sacredness of being trusted with" something the person has agonized over in secret — often for years —makes it incumbent upon those who learn about their challenges to love and listen, he said.

"This is about a person not only coming to Christ, but coming into a community of people. The least we can do is listen to what their experiences are like in a nonjudgmental way." In the process," you get over yourself and your prejudice" and provide a spiritual and moral "anchor as a point of comparison" that they can look to over time, Buxton said.

In such cases, "maybe more than in any other way, we're called upon to be like Christ, who came to each person in his own station without judgment."

The conference continues through 5 p.m. today. Eight hours of the conference will be rebroadcast May 13-14 on BYU-TV and at byubroadcasting.org. Other rebroadcasts may air locally on KBYU, Channel 11. Check local listings for times.

---

E-mail: carrie@desnews.com