Let's blame parents for our faltering schools this year. After all, the Legislature has been blamed for years for not providing adequate funding, or for mandating that certain things be taught, or for restricting other things from being taught; and the teachers have been blamed for not being "highly qualified," not demanding enough from students, demanding too much from students — all while complaining of not being respected, appreciated or fairly compensated.

So it seems only fair that parents should take their turn since we are more interested in placing blame than finding solutions.

Our schools were designed to create a living laboratory where kids learned the basic skills and values needed to live in our democratic society. Schools can still do that, except parents now expect schools to do the job families used to do in preparing children to start and get through school. Some appear too eager to blame the school for their child's problems, rather than first getting the facts. Some seem more concerned that their children have a good time, rather than persevere in completing school assignments. Then we wonder why we are falling behind in math and science.

In 1989, the nation's governors adopted "Goals 2000." The first was that all children should come to school ready to learn; the belief was that parents are a child's first teacher. That no longer holds true. Children today are no different than when we started school. We had to learn that the universe didn't revolve around us— the school was there to help us learn that. Sometimes that meant staying after school, cleaning chalkboards, and getting bloody noses from a kid who wouldn't let us butt in front of him. And the worst thing that could happen to us was to send home a note saying, "Johnny was misbehaving." That's when the parents and the principal ganged up on us helpless kids.

School socialized us little barbarians. It taught us how to take our lumps — just like in the real world — how to persevere, and most important, how to respect one another regardless of our station in life. Schools, along with our churches and families, taught us "we are our brother's keeper."

Fast forward. Today, we have parents who are under stress trying to make ends meet in an uncertain world where they do not know whether they will have a job tomorrow, or if the business will go overseas. The family structure has changed, and while we spend more time debating about two mommies, we need to be worrying about how, today, we have more single-parent families, more two-wage-earner homes, many who have two jobs with (in Utah) 65 percent of married women with children working.