They talked about how sometimes non-Mormons (a phrase just about nobody likes but in this case speaks to the issue and certainly is less unwieldy than "people of other faiths") feel powerless and voiceless in Utah and how sometimes Mormons feel like the butt of rude remarks. They talked about non-Mormon children who aren't invited to LDS birthday parties and LDS adults who aren't invited to their non-Mormon neighbors' for dinner. They talked about the LDS practice of "baptism for the dead," a ritual that can include deceased Jews and Catholics and atheists.

"There's something very valuable that comes from understanding what people really mean," says Whitsett. "Why did my mother's neighbor tell my mother they were going to baptize my father after he passed away? And why was my mother so offended, so angry?" What would have helped, Whitsett says, is if both the neighbors and her mother had been able to talk about why each felt the way they did — how the neighbors wanted to do the baptism out of love for her father and how her mother felt that this was a violation of her own beliefs.

"The doctrine doesn't change," says Whitsett, "but the reaction to it does."

A lot of times, she says, Mormons and non-Mormons "walk on eggshells," afraid to bring up a topic or explain their reactions when they feel hurt or ignored. Sometimes people feel attacked, get defensive, clam up, lash out.

Rosemary Holt talks about a woman who called her. The woman, a non-Mormon, had recently become friends with a young LDS woman who moved in across the street. The women shared recipes and friendship. And then one day the non-Mormon woman found that her neighbor had left an LDS proselytizing video on her doorstep.

What should she do? the woman asked Holt. She felt hurt, she said, that her neighbor seemed to want to be her friend only if she converted.

Again, the women decide, the best thing is to talk. The non-Mormon woman needs to walk across the street and thank her neighbor for the video, ask her why she wanted to give the video, listen respectfully to the neighbor's answer, understand that the neighbor gave the video out of love, and explain that she wants to be the woman's friend but that she already has a religion of her own.

The non-Mormons in the group say they have learned how hurtful "Mormon bashing" can be and that not all Mormons think alike. The Mormons in the group say they have learned that phrases like "the one true church" can be hurtful, too. Both have learned to recognize triggers that can put people on their guard.

Linda Dunn tells a story about group member Kathy English, who at Sunday School one week after coming to Woman to Woman listened while a man said he was glad that the LDS Church's missionary program could share "the one true church."