From Deseret News archives:
Dave Barry's 2004 year in review
"HOW??" you ask, spitting out your coffee.
Well, OK, a giant asteroid could have smashed into the Earth and destroyed all human life except Paris Hilton and William Hung. Or Florida could have been hit by 20 hurricanes, instead of just 17.
Or the Yankees could have won the World Series.
But no question, 2004 was bad. Consider:
We somehow managed to hold a presidential election campaign that for several months was devoted almost entirely to the burning issue of: Vietnam.
Osama bin Laden remained at large for yet another year (although we did manage, at long last, to put Martha Stewart behind bars).
The federal budget deficit continued to worsen, despite the concerted effort of virtually every elected official in Washington Republican or Democrat to spend more money.
The "reality"-show cancer continued to metastasize, so that you couldn't turn on the TV without seeing either Donald Trump or a cavalcade of dimwits emoting dramatically about eating bugs, losing weight, marrying a millionaire or remodeling a bathroom.
Perhaps most alarming of all, Cher yet again extended her "farewell" tour, which began during the Jimmy Carter administration and is now expected to continue until the sun goes out.
So all things considered, we're happy to be entering a new year, which according to our calculations will be 2005 (although the exit polls are predicting it will be 1997). But before we move on, let's swallow our anti-nausea medication and take one last look back at 2004, which began, as so many years seem to, with . . .
. . . a month that opens with all the magic, excitement and glamour conjured up by the words "Iowa caucuses." All the political experts having gauged the mood of the state by dining with each other at essentially three Des Moines restaurants agree that the Democratic nomination has already been locked up by feisty yet irritable genius Vermont governor Howard Dean, thanks to his two unbeatable weapons: (1) the Internet, and (2) college students wearing orange hats.
January
Comments
- Spectacular defense has RSL 7:51 p.m.
- Zone D giving Jazz headaches 7:39 p.m.
- Millsap a surprise on ballot 7:38 p.m.
- D.C.-area sniper executed 7:37 p.m.
- NBA's worry is Donaghy 7:36 p.m.
- Where's 'Tag when Utah needs him? 7:34 p.m.
- Utah Jazz have a problem at point 7:33 p.m.
- Nyhus steps down as coach 7:31 p.m.
- Developer looking to buy RSL share 7:27 p.m.
- Text from LDS church on S.L. policy 7:09 p.m.
- Utah group finds homes for orphans
- Pratt pleads not guilty to sex charges
- Y. tight ends talented tandem
- Jazz blow big lead, hang on
- Utes get extra motivation
- Senators want food tax restored
- Hair-pulling raises more questions
- BYU soccer incident still popular
- Lobo land like home for BYU lineman
- U. hopes to keep clicking
- House passes health care bill
259 - TCU showdown has big implications
187 - Lobo suspended
185 - Cougars crush hapless Cowboys
155 - Senators want food tax restored
146 - Utah Jazz fall apart against Kings
131 - TCU 4th in AP poll; U. 16th, Y. 22nd
119 - No 'backlash' for pioneers, gays analogy
104 - RSL rallies to advance
103 - S.L. vote pending on gay protections
98
Applebee's Neighborhood Grill & Bar restaurants nationwide will honor...
Meghan McCain, the daughter of former presidential candidate John...
Spell W....right? Get over it bookworm! TCU WILL BEATDOWNDAUTES!...
Re: True to Form. Cougar fan you are not. The Oklahoma game was a great game...
As a Gay man, former Mormon of 30 years, I appreciate the LDS church backing...
What a terrific approach for the LDS Church to take. Great news!
To all the people that say Utah is not as good as last year and Wynn is no...
BYU played well, BECAUSE WYOMING IS NOT TCU.
This is a great story. All of these media sites try to pigeon whole the...
I guess the church got a new PR director? Good for them. Now maybe we can...
This is wonderful news! Way to go, LDS Church!
I disagree with the concept of granting implicit special rights based upon...




You can be the first to comment on this story.