But I did develop a degree of confidence. And by the end of each day I knew each student by name and sincerely wanted to see them succeed.

And I think they liked me, too. At both schools, a teacher or principal asked me if I was interested in being requested for subbing assignments at their school.

But something tells me I won't be able to make it. It's a thought that makes me slightly sad, but mostly relieved.

Subbing is really hard, but that's because I gave it my all and put students' education over my own popularity and health.

But what if a sub doesn't care? It would be so easy to let chaos break out. No one seemed to be checking on me and students certainly wanted me to break rank.

Maybe it's best I don't think about it. Because if I do, I might end up in the lions' den permanently.

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E-mail: lwarner@desnews.com