Mary would also love to see such a clash, although she isn't sure either of tomorrow night's contestants would be all that terrific in a bona fide debate. "You've got a president who doesn't speak very well but recognizes the issues," she says, "and a person on the other side who fancy-dances around everything and you don't know where he stands."

She'd love to see a debate between Bill Clinton and the British Prime Minister, Tony Blair. "Those are two people I think could handle the format," she said.

If the West High coach were backstage tomorrow night and could give President Bush and challenger Kerry any advice, it would be this: "One thing Bush does is he starts to speak before he has his thoughts collected and then he starts to stammer — he can't do that. Kerry needs to make sure he doesn't contradict himself."

Whatever they do, besides being the talk of the country Friday morning, it will also be the talk of Ms. Johnson's classroom. "We'll discuss the styles of questions and how each person handled them," she said. "We'll talk about who did the best."

Even if it isn't a real debate.

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Lee Benson's column runs Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Please send e-mail to benson@desnews.com and faxes to 801-237-2527.