From Deseret News archives:
Time to pucker up and kiss babies
All the blathering and speechifying by politicians can be confusing. As a public service to our readers, we are providing a translation guide to understand what candidates really mean.
"If elected, I will serve no more than two terms!" (This is a cheap promise everyone expects me to break anyway, which I will do 10 nanoseconds after the election.)
"I will never raise taxes!" (But I never said anything about revenue enhancements, income bracketing and fee adjustments.)
"Our children deserve a quality education and a good job in a clean environment without fear of criminal activity, while maintaining a sense of community." (See, I can cram into one sentence all of the issues the focus groups mentioned.)
"I am here at your doorstep to listen to your concerns firsthand." (You don't want me bothering you and I certainly do not want to be here, so let's make this painless take the brochure and don't ask any questions.)
"The pressing demands of my elected position limit my participation in debates." (I am too lazy and egotistical to defend my record in public.)
"I am steadfast in my defense of family values and the Constitution." (I lack substance and any knowledge of the issues.)
"I don't care how you vote, as long as you vote." (Please be impressed with my statesmanlike posturing, no matter how insincere.)
"I'm looking forward to an invigorating campaign!" (Long sigh . . . I have to face another election!? Can't they just give it to me this time?)
Comments
- Palin's way of talkin' dissected 10:24 a.m.
- Sponsor for gay-rights bills found 9:53 a.m.
- Aggies beat Spartans in snowy Logan 4:31 a.m.
- TCU 55, Utah 28 4:24 a.m.
- BYU 24, New Mexico 19 4:21 a.m.
- Jazz game at a glance 3:00 a.m.
- Real Salt Lake: Game at a glance 3:00 a.m.
- Stanford ends Y's soccer season 2:20 a.m.
- Jazz hope D-Will returns soon 2:19 a.m.
- Snow, SUU lose 2:18 a.m.
- SLC council OKs gay rights policies
359 - BYU happy to escape with victory
205 - Editorial: Mormons and gay rights
200 - TCU creams U.
156 - Will state consider gay rights law?
148 - Can BYU root for (ick) Utah Utes?
130 - Letters: Strange breed in Utah
129 - Utes remain silent about BCS
120 - Pratt pleads not guilty to sex charges
106 - Celtics crush Jazz
104
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