While women today are more likely than their mothers 20 years ago to report an abusive situation, advocates believe there is still widespread community misunderstanding about the problem.

"I don't think we have labeled domestic violence very well for our citizens," said Ned Searle, the state's domestic violence coordinator.

While authorities don't have reason to suspect Lori Hacking suffered beatings at the hand of her husband, his pattern of deception is a trademark of an abuser.

Mark Hacking lied to his wife and others in his family about his being accepted to medical school, and prosecutors believe it was when Lori Hacking confronted her husband about the deception that he responded by taking her life.

"The alleged facts of this seem to corroborate with control of information, deception and a pattern of lying to the spouse," Searle said.

Domestic violence, officials say, often finds its roots in deceit — from hiding a drinking problem revealed later in a violent confrontation to total control of the family finances and refusal to disclose how the money is spent.

Any challenge to the deceit or to the status quo can precipitate a breaking point for the abuser, who is threatened by the loss of control.

That challenge can be as simple as a demand to "fess up" to the deceit to a spouse who initiates a breakup.

"You are now confronting them with the reality. They've built this kind of porcelain facade around them, so everyone believes they are a certain thing," Knowlton said. "And when the other partner says 'that is not right' the cracks start and the facade starts breaking away. The abuser can't afford that."

The stress of pregnancy is also a factor in domestic violence, with pregnant women risking a much higher incidence of abuse, said Dr. Steven Kay, clinical director of Cornerstone Counseling, which has a domestic violence treatment program.

An article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found pregnant women and recently pregnant women are more likely to die as a result of homicide than any other cause of death.

Kay said he is unsure of how much statistical analysis has been done to determine the reason for the link but did point out that experts believe pregnancy creates stress in a relationship and stress is often a trigger for violence.

"With offenders, a woman and their unborn child could be seen as the source of the stress, and they direct their anger there."

While medically unconfirmed by doctors, Lori Hacking had told friends she was five weeks pregnant.

Despite efforts in legal and victim advocate arenas to curtail domestic violence, the crimes continue to occur.