He said the first step is to make sure everyone who contacts his group knows their feelings are normal and they are not alone — he believes about 2 to 3 percent of the LDS population has had same-sex attraction feelings.

"This is very difficult," he said. "We are all called upon to live the same doctrine, the same standards. . . . The question is how are you going to cope with those very difficult feelings."

Pruden said a good portion of people never make any attempt to change their orientation. For those who do decide to remain in the church and seek therapy, there are ways to cope. Some people choose a life of celibacy, others may eventually lose their sexual feelings altogether, and he said some do eventually become heterosexuals.

Pruden said when homosexuals fail at their attempts to change, "I do honor the idea they believe they've done their best. I can believe that and love them. . . . I can't believe theologically that God meant them to be gay."

However, many therapists believe sexual orientation is a genetic trait and can't be changed. Kay Packard is a marriage and family therapist, her husband, Ted, is a counseling psychologist. They believe their son, Mark Stanfield Packard, was born gay.

Mark Packard, 41, of London, gave up on the LDS Church when he was 16 and left Utah at 18.

"It was like eating glass every day," Mark Packard said. "The pressure I felt growing up was very very difficult, very very painful. . . . I grew up with a strong sense I was going to burn in hell for something I could do nothing about . . . I knew there was some problem between me and the Mormon Church years before I could figure out what it was."

Packard's parents, who raised all their children LDS, said the church's strong stance against homosexuality is detrimental not only to themselves but to their patients.

Kay Packard said some of her clients are married couples with one homosexual partner. Some were advised to get married as a way to change sexual orientation, while other couples thought they could work together and pray for a change.

"It's excruciatingly painful for them," she said. "The heartbreaking thing is it doesn't work. Five, 10, 15 years down the road — the heartbreak comes sooner or later."

Speaking from her own experience, Kay Packard said, "it has been difficult at best," with women in a church group often making derogatory comments about homosexuals. She said official church support for the constitutional amendment "is going to make it even harder."

"It just seems discriminatory," she said. "It would seem that if we truly love them, then we would want them to have as close and warm and loving a relationship as they can."

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E-mail: dbulkeley@desnews.com