The perennially laid-back, all-knowing and ever-quotable Jimmy Buffet has a motto for the mythical "Coconut Telegraph," the Caribbean newspaper he talks about in his concerts.

"If you don't want to read about it," he shouts to parrot-heads with all the authority of one who knows what he's talking about, "don't do it!"

Not exactly "all the news that's fit to print," but close enough.

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I bring up the Coconut Telegraph's words to live by in connection to the current situation regarding Salt Lake County Mayor Nancy Workman's public travails due to inquiries about her hiring practices. The county's district attorney, David Yocom, has questioned the mayor's propriety in paying for a bookkeeper's position at a nonprofit youth center out of county health department funds. The fact that the bookkeeper apparently aided Workman's daughter in her position as the fiscal director at the youth center — and had nothing to do with the health department — only adds to the curiosity.

Yocom has asked police to investigate, and, when the investigation is complete, he has asked a four-person board made up of fellow county attorneys to review the case to determine if any laws may have been broken and if any criminal proceedings are warranted.

Workman's public comments have been limited, per her personal attorney's instructions. Essentially, all the mayor has said on the record is that she is innocent of any serious wrongdoing and that Yocom, a Democrat, is playing partisan politics "of the worst kind" four months before Workman, a Republican, tries to get re-elected. A number of Republicans have rallied behind Workman, seconding the motion that Yocom is out to get the mayor. Democrats, for their part, are kind of enjoying the whole thing.

All this, of course, has wound up in the local Coconut Telegraphs.

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From reports so far, we know that Workman allocated taxpayer money for a job at the South Valley Boys and Girls Club — a nonprofit, nonpublic agency — that would help the club's accounting department, of which her daughter is the head.

We know that public money for the job was charged to the Salt Lake Valley Health Department's account, although the mayor, and not the health department, had direct supervision over the employee.

And we know that no one at the health department ever actually saw their employee, who was on the "books" for a year, from June 2003 until June 2004, and inevitably became known as the mayor's "ghost" hire.

We also know that documents show that people in the health department were concerned enough to query the county human services director about the unusual arrangement of having an employee on staff no one knew and no one ever saw.

They wanted to find out what was going on . . . and maybe if, you know, there might be more such openings available.

Given that history, it doesn't appear all that surprising that the district attorney would also want to know what was going on. If his motivation is purely political, that should soon become obvious. And if Workman abused her power, that should become just as obvious.

But one fact is irrefutable: There would be no investigation if the mayor didn't do what she did.

And no story.

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Lee Benson's column runs Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Please send e-mail to benson@desnews.com and faxes to 801-237-2527.