"Mad Mad House" has to be the phoniest reality show ever.

The Sci Fi Channel program is, in a lot of ways, little different from a lot of shows that have gone before. Ten people live in a house and have to perform various tasks. One of them is eliminated each week. The winner takes home $100,000.

(This is cable TV, so the budget isn't big enough for a $1 million prize.)

The twist in this twisted show is contestants have to live in a house with a vampire, a witch, a voodoo priestess, a naturist and a modern primitive. The "alts," as they're called, assure us that they really are what they pretend to be. But most of them seem to be simply pretending.

We know for a fact that Fiona Horne — the witch, or Wiccan — is a heretofore unsuccessful actress. While she assured TV critics, "I've been a practicing witch for 20 years," she seems much more interested in a show-biz career than casting any spells. As does voodoo priestess Iya Ta'Shia Asanti.

OK, so "naturist" David "Avocado" Wolfe does run around naked a lot. And "modern primitive" Art Aguirre has all those tattoos, so something is up there.

But as for "vampire" Don Henrie, he's the most annoying poseur to hit TV in years.

"The funny thing is we're not doing this by trade — we're actually doing this to show who we really are," Henrie said. "It's given me the chance to just come out of my coffin, if you know what I mean."

Well, we do get to see who he really is — a very strange person who craves the attention TV cameras provide. And, trust me, he's even more annoying in person.

The show itself is full of gross challenges and pseudo-drama. It's not so much worse than a lot of reality shows, it's just less believable.

It's part of Sci Fi's attempt to program a new night of original programming. Moving over from Fridays is Scare Tactics (8 and 10 p.m.), the Shannen Doherty-hosted show that plays mean, science-fictiony practical jokes on people. And Tripping the Rift (8:30 and 10:30 p.m.), is actually a rather funny computer-animated series that pokes fun at all things science fiction. But some of the jokes are more than a bit tasteless — it's not exactly child-friendly.

I know that the Sci Fi Channel is trying to broaden its audience and get away from what we might consider traditional science fiction shows, but wouldn't it be nice if the network had at least one original series about people in space ships flying around the galaxy?

We'll have to wait for the new version of "Battlestar Galactica," which goes into production sometime later this year.

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E-mail: pierce@desnews.com