As long as they're spending big, the Yankees should keep right on rolling. For instance, they should revamp Yankee Stadium again and make it the biggest and best in America. Put massage chairs in all the box seats and have a humongous plasma screen television in the outfield. They can afford it. Then hire Michael Buffer at an outrageous salary to shout "Let's get ready to rummmmmmmble!" at the start of every game. Swipe Celine Dion from Vegas and pay her $100 million to sing the national anthem every night. Convince Kevin Costner to go the distance and rake the infield at an exorbitant salary.

They should talk Paul Prudhomme into cooking the team's pre-game and post-game buffets, hire Jeff Gordon to drive the team bus.

Not possible? You never know. Money — and the prospect of working for the Yankees — always talks.

They should keep on buying top players, such as Pedro Martinez, Randy Johnson, Nomar Garciaparra, Ivan Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, Ichiro Suzuki, Mike Piazza and Albert Pujols, just to annoy the Red Sox.

After that, they simply must purchase Rawlings, Louisville Slugger, Mizuno and Nike, so they can put their logo on all the gloves, shoes, balls and bats. Next target: Comcast. That way they can broadcast Yankees baseball 24-7 on all 65 channels. Add Carmike, AMC, Cinemark, Loews, United Artists and Century Theaters so they can show "Pride of the Yankees" in every city in America, every day of the year.

Then America can sit back and admire the biggest, richest, most talented, most arrogant, most successful team on earth.

As if it wasn't already.

But what about all those other teams? Shouldn't they get something out of this?

Of course.

Just like the rest of us, they get to watch.

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E-mail: rock@desnews.com