—Suggested by James V. Dolson of Springfield, Va.

As Americans, we respect, honor and revere our presidents. But, for security reasons, we cannot take them home and play with them.

Until now, that is. Because now you, or some fortunate individual on your holiday gift list, can own a talking action figure of current President George W. Bush, or former President Bill "Bill" Clinton, or former President George "Herbert Walker" Bush.

These figures are crafted with superb skill to look exactly like small, severely mutated versions of the people they theoretically represent. And they talk! Thanks to the miracle of electronics, when you push a little button, these action figures randomly emit recordings of actual statements made by the original humans. For example, the George W. Bush doll says, among other things: "You're working hard to put food on your family." The Bill Clinton doll says, among other things: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."

Bubble Buddy Bacon-Flavored Dog Bubbles

$12 plus shipping and handling from The Paragon, P.O. Box 996, 89 Tom Harvey Road Westerly, RI 02891-0996, phone: 800-657-3934, Internet: www.paragongifts.com

— Suggested by Andrea Higgins of Mount Pocono, Pa.

We all love dogs, and for a good reason: They are morons.

We mean that in a good way. We mean that dogs are extremely enthusiastic, always ready to play and fetch sticks and jump out of vehicles going 75 miles per hour.

Dogs also love to chase, and try to bite, soap bubbles. It's an instinct they acquired millions of years ago, when their wolf ancestors had to protect their young from wily predators such as the saber-toothed tiger, which would try, usually successfully, to distract the wolves by blowing bubbles.

That is the biological basis for this holiday gift concept for the dog on your list. It consists of a bubble dispenser and four ounces of bacon-flavored bubble solution. The Internet site we ordered from states that if you buy this product, you and your dog will, quote, "have so much fun, you'll want to order refills now!"