Kindness is curbing gay cruising

"You absolutely have to deal with it in a humanistic way to address the real problem," Salt Lake City prosecutor Sim Gill said. "Look, people hook up. It's not against the law to meet somebody — that's a human need. It crosses the line when there is a public behavior in a public place."

To enter the program, cruisers must first take responsibility for their crime by pleading guilty to the charge against them, typically a class B misdemeanor. The plea is then held in abeyance until the participant finishes the program and successfully completes his probation without further violations. During the program's two-year existence, 144 men have completed the program. Only four have reoffended. Currently, 48 men are enrolled.

"You respect somebody, you get these kind of results," Gill said. "You humiliate someone, you end up getting the kind of results you did under the old model."

The new approach, however, hasn't been without opposition.

"I got a lot of nasty phone calls from people saying, 'You're going after your own,' " said Paula Wolfe, director of Salt Lake City's Gay and Lesbian Community Center.

"There was a lot of mistrust about what this whole program was really about," agreed Ferguson. "We really had to do a lot of sensitivity training on all sides. It took a long time, and we're still not there yet."

A life-shattering arrest

Therapist Jerry Buie, who is openly gay, counsels men arrested by Salt Lake police and referred to the Healthy Self Expressions program. His patient breakdown represents a cross-section of Utah men. About 40 percent are married, he estimated. The average length of those marriages is 23 to 24 years. More than 75 percent identify themselves as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His oldest client was 89 years old, his youngest was 20. Less than 1 percent of the men Buie treats have had substance-abuse problems.

"Most of these guys have absolutely nothing on their record," he said.

For many men, their arrests break open a secret compartment of their lives they have worked to keep hidden from wives, children and the community.

"We're talking about a class B misdemeanor being a life-altering crime," Jones said.

Parker declined to be interviewed for this story, but his experience highlights the drastic impact such an arrest can have. After learning the Deseret Morning News was printing a story about his arrest for soliciting sex from an undercover male police officer, Parker abruptly walked off the House of Representatives floor in the middle of the 2003 legislative session and submitted his handwritten resignation to House Speaker Marty Stephens.