It has been a while since I last e-mailed. Then again nothing has been going on until now. David had been doing well (well for him) until Friday night. We think his intrathecal pump (it's like an epidural) became dislodged from his tumors. He broke out into a sweat, his eyes were dilated, and he was in extreme pain. Thankfully, Dr. Carter was on call and came out to the house. We tried to get his pain under control with his Dilaudid and Lorazepam, but they wouldn't touch it. Dr. Carter had to call the nurse anesthetist to come out to the house and put David under anesthesia. It was so bad that the first drug the anesthetist brought out didn't completely do the job so he had to go back to the hospital and get Propofol. — Carol

By now the family was hoarding time. Ashli came to her father last September and asked him, "Dad, can you hold on until Halloween?"

"I think I can," he replied.

"I want you to," she said.

After Halloween had passed, she asked if he could make it until Thanksgiving. Then it was Christmas. Then it was her birthday in April. He answered the bell every time, but by then he was fading fast. There were days when he asked them to bolt his recliner to the boat and take him fishing. "I don't feel that good lying here; I might as well feel this bad in the boat." After Christmas, he was bedridden. At one point, he asked doctors to use him for cancer treatment experiments — "Don't waste this opportunity," he said. Doctors wanted to accept the offer, but lawyers nixed the plan.

The Draneys had time to accept death and plan for it. David explained to his children what was happening to him. He told Carol and the kids that Carol should marry again, and that he wanted them to live in Afton as long as they could. "More than anything he was worried about me and the kids," she said. "He was upset they might grow up without a dad, and that he didn't have control over what would happen."

As (we) discussed with David before putting him out, we took him off the anesthesia Saturday to see if he was still in pain. We did that and he was still in pain. He was able to say a few things and we were able to talk to him. He was only awake about 40 minutes. David will remain under anesthesia until he passes away. We took him off his TPN (nutrients) and fluids so he may pass away more quickly. I suspect it may take a week, but it is hard to tell these things. The kids and I are doing fine. We have had a long time to prepare for this. I am so thankful for David and for the time that I have had with him. He has been my best friend for the last 16 years. And I am especially grateful for my friendship with all of you good people, for your love and your prayers. I know that is what has and is sustaining us. — Carol

Before Draney was anesthetized for the last time, his father whispered some things in his ear — "I don't know that he heard it all," says Terryl. "He was more interested in saying goodbye to his kids and wife." A couple of days later he visited his son again. He asked Carol if he could shave his son one last time, as he had so many times previously. He put a hot rag on his face and shaved him carefully, talking softly to his unconscious son. He died two days later on May 20.

"In the last week or so I've been struggling a little with it," says Terryl. "Maybe it was because there were a lot of things that had to be done right after he died, so we put our feelings aside. Now you realize you've lost your son. There are moments you have to just stop and shed a few tears. Then you can go on a while, then you have to stop again."

As for Carol and David, for years they had this routine. Whenever they became separated in a store, for instance, they would whistle to find one another. So when the time came to say goodbye, Carol told her husband, "You better whistle when I get up there." David replied in kind. "Don't forget to whistle."

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