I began searching under the tree for the gift from my parents. Maybe they had hidden the box to make it even more exciting? Nothing on the mohair couch, or under the ottoman, no boxes of the right size under the tree. Finally, I spied a neatly wrapped box with my name on it in my father's distinctive handwriting. This couldn't be it. It was much too small for a coat, and even too small for a muff or hat. I yanked the crinkly green ribbon off and found a plain white wool cardigan with tiny pearls on the collar.

Tears welled up in my eyes. This was not what I wanted.

"We simply couldn't afford the fur coat, muff and hat, but Daddy and I thought you would look pretty in this sweet sweater."

I could not hide my disappointment or hold back my tears for another moment. I ran to my room sobbing and slammed the door behind me.

My father followed behind me and tapped lightly on my door and came in and tried to soothe me.

"Rhoda, department stores don't trade coal for fur coats. I know you're disappointed, but maybe next year. And you can still enjoy your new doll."

I tried to stop crying, but just kept asking him, "Couldn't you at least have given me the muff?" He sighed as he held me close to him.

That was to be my father's last Christmas. He dropped dead of a heart attack in our front hall on Oct. 18, 1935. It breaks my heart, even now, that I was responsible for making his last Christmas one filled with my selfish tears.

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About today's author, Rhoda Ramsey

Rhoda Ramsey, Salt Lake City, was born and reared in Salt Lake City. She is a journalism graduate of the University of Utah. Rhoda and T. Upton Ramsey, a well-known chef and author of the "George Washington Ate Here" cookbook, have been married for 52 years. They have three children and eight grandchildren. Rhoda Ramsey sold real estate for 38 years and was a partner in the Ramsey Group. They both love to travel and just recently went to Wimbledon and watched matches on Centre Court.