March 12, 1999, was the date of the long-awaited return of our son, Eric, who had just completed an LDS Church mission. The excitement of meeting him at the airport after his long flight from South America will never be forgotten. He had grown up and become a man. The mother's embrace of a son just returned from a two-year absence was never to be forgotten. Watching Eric was fun as he studied how the family had changed, his younger brothers truly a head taller, his sisters and older brother now with so much in common. There was much to catch up on and many fun activities to be planned. Trips skiing and fishing were discussed with his brother-in-law.

And what a command of the Spanish language he had! Eric seemed so happy to be at home and was ready to re-enter school on a Presidential Scholarship. He explained that while his mission was very successful and filled a very important part of his life, he declined a request by his mission president to stay an extra month, telling him he felt an urgency to get back to be with his family.

The activities of the next week, while so familiar to many LDS families, are all a blur now: the interview with the stake president and honorable release, the homecoming, family and friends, and the reacquaintance with our son, brother and friend.

The euphoria was short-lived. Then came the crushing blow. Eric experienced a shortness of breath and tightness in his chest that some suggested might be due to altitude adjustment. Visits with our doctor and an X-ray lab exposed a much more serious condition: a grapefruit-size cancerous growth in Eric's chest.

Our focus changed overnight from fun family activities to searching out the best doctors available and to identifying and curing Eric's problem. Our family had been spared serious medical problems and the "C" word, and the possible ramifications were new to us. While we knew Eric's condition was serious, the process of really understanding how serious took us days and weeks to fully grasp.

We surrounded Eric with love, tenderness and support as he fought for his life. Eric was strong and had determined he would win this battle and would move on with his life. Despite the best efforts of modem medicine and numerous petitions for divine intervention, Eric slipped from this life less than two months after his return home. We were not prepared for his sudden passing, and we were left with a profound sense of shock and disarray. This was not Eric's destiny. It was not supposed to turn out this way.

The months following Eric's death and funeral provided time for healing. We learned to understand the heartbreak and pain faced by many others who have also lost loved ones. Many thoughtful and caring individuals comforted us as we dealt with our great loss. Eric had many friends from his mission who wrote kind words of condolences and support. We especially enjoyed the sharing of stories involving Eric that helped us understand the man he had become. For our family, there were the lingering, wishful thoughts of "if only" and "why didn't we?"